1 post tagged “can't have”
Show us what you want, but can't have.
Are you sure you're ready for this, Vox? Here it is:
Yes, that's right, I want gay marriage to be legalized. I just read the most horrifying story over on Dancing Bear's site about a lesbian woman who was denied access - along with her children - to the the woman she had been partnered with for 18 years who was dying in the hospital. (You really must read the story because it is more horrifying and awful than I can give words to.) These two had been married for EIGHTEEN YEARS. (For the record, I consider a domestic partnership where two people have all of the trappings of marriage to in fact be a marriage.)
I have been married to my husband for almost ten years. If I had known then how big a battle gay marriage would become, I likely would have opted not to get married. I believe it is profoundly cruel to deny two people the opportunity to have the same level of respect and protection that a heterosexual couple has solely because these two people happen to be of the same gender. It is utterly arbitrary to say, "Yes, you two, you are okay to make medical choices for each other, but you two, I don't think so." Honestly, what difference does it make in your day-to-day life?
I know this is a big battleground for some Christian conservatives. (Now, before my neighbors attack me for criticizing Christians, please note I said some. And please also note that I am choosing not to address any other religions that also oppose gay marriage at this point - though I know they are out there - because they don't tend to be the one most influential on Washington.) The Christianity I grew up with taught me a few key things: don't judge others, don't hate, love every person and treat them as you would want to be treated.
Marriage is a great, beautiful, difficult and challenging path. By most accounts, I have a successful one (we are still together after almost 10 years and we still madly love each other). But I am no means any expert on it. I do not believe that I am somehow more fit for it because I am straight. Nor do I believe I am any more loving a spouse, any more loyal, any more prepared to make life and death decisions. I am not. I am just as equipped as everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, else out there.
I have never heard a single argument against gay marriage that makes sense (and for that matter didn't sound like it was being spat out by someone stricken with rabies). If you are against it, I ask you to look inside yourself and ask what difference it makes to you? In your daily life, what does it matter? And ask yourself if you are the kind of person that is comfortable having different standards for people based on immutable characteristics?
It used to be that this country sterilized people with developmental disabilities and refused to allow them to get married. Interracial marriages were criminal. We have taken a long time to evolve as a people and to treat each other with the respect and dignity we so desperately want. Why are we denying ourselves the opportunity to fully realize an equal society?
